Spoke too soon

Or should that be blogged too soon?

So I though we’d got the hang of breastfeeding at last.  Turns out he was sucking rather than latching (and yes there is a difference, who’d have thought?).  He is fine and still well fed but I am now in lots of pain.  I kept thinking it was just due to the change from using breast shields but it has got to such a level that I now admit – we can’t breastfeed “properly”.  Ah well, back to breast shields.

So now I’m quite disappointed in myself, all over again.  I just want to be as perfect a Mum to him, as he is a son to me.  I guess I just have to be satisfied that I am managing to breastfeed at all, some ladies can’t.  Tomorrow he turns 17 weeks and we are into the zone of “you can start weaning now if you like but its best to wait until he’s 6 months”.  Goodness knows I am looking forward to this whole fiasco being over, will be so much easier when he’s on Sugar Puffs and burgers!!

In the meantime I must share this video that is just adorable.  It was what I was woken up by this morning but is still cute, I’m sure you’ll agree…

If it doesn’t work here just go to my flickr page to see it.

One Response to “Spoke too soon”

  1. Becky Milne says:

    It made me really sad to read how disappointed you were at having to go back to using breast shields, so I just wanted to drop you an encouraging word. You ARE the perfect Mummy for Owen (I know this; he told me!). There are many many very well-intentioned people out there who would ALREADY have given up on breastfeeding given how difficult you found it at the beginning. We had it much easier, but even so there was a definite learning process (for both me and Rudi), and the way we ended up doing it wasn’t initially the “recommended” way that the midwives had been encouraging us towards. I reckon it’s different for every mother-baby pair, and that’s fine. We each do what we have to do to make things as good as they possibly can be. There is no “perfect”, really, so please please don’t beat yourself up for not measuring up to some airbrushed ideal mother-figure. You’re amazing just as you are, and I know Owen thinks so too.
    We’re now well into the weaning phase here, with food being smeared EVERYWHERE, and I’m amazed at how glad I am to have some breasfeeding still going on. There are 2 main reasons for this. Firstly, the food thing takes a while to get going, and knowing that he’s getting a regular dose of breastmilk nutrition/antibodies/etc stops me panicking about how much/how little/what he’s eating, so we can get on and enjoy trying all the new tasty things (sometimes!). The second reason is not something I expected at all. I found being on-call 24/7 really difficult emotionally, and couldn’t wait for this stage to arrive. Now that I’m back at work, and not on-call 24/7, however, these feeds give us a rare quiet time in the day, just for us. The days are flying past terrifyingly quickly, and the breastfeeds and snuggles are becoming increasingly precious. I know this phase will end, probably sooner rather than later, and it’s funny to see how I’ve done a complete turnaround from (literally) counting the days till that 6 month milestone, to treasuring every feed for its special me-and-my-Rudi-ness.
    Whatever you do you’ll do it out of love for Owen and in an attitude of caring, and that’s what matters most to him, so Bravo for everything you’ve done so far, and keep enjoying all your moments together, whatever you’re doing.
    Hope this isn’t too crazy!
    Love from Becky xxx