It will all be worth it.

This is my current mantra and I keep having to tell myself this.  I am afraid I am not enjoying being pregnant at all and this post is about that so if you plan to have children one day you maybe want to stop reading right now!  Also if you hate women who whine on, also leave now!  I make no promises!  Just want to put it in writing so that if I am ever stupid enough to say “maybe we should have a second child” someone can refer me back here!

The first 12 weeks were really hard for me, as most of you know I’m not good at keeping things to myself (unless its someone else’s secret then I’m fab!).  Keeping the news of being pregnant from friends and family was really hard for me, but very necessary as a scary number of babies don’t make it to that 12 week scan.  Its also so much more real to tell people when you have the scan photos to show them.  Add to the secret keeping the things your body goes through as it adjusts to this new thing inside – and hide those feelings from people and I was really struggling! 

At the start of 2008, when we decided to start trying when I got back from my trip in June, I starting dieting and doing regular exercise.  I started taking folic acid in the May as you are supposed to do this for 3 months before getting pregnant (I was a bit late with that but ended up taking it for much more than the required time so that was fine).  When I came back from France and Dublin I gave up booze, saying I’d had too much on my trip – which was true and a good cover story for the bigger truth of trying for a baby!

However all our careful preparation did not mean that we earned an easy pregnancy unfortunately!  I did escape morning sickness persay (except once when I took advantage of a hotel swimming pool before breakfast – oops!).  However I did suffer from afternoon nausea until about week 16, starting at about 3pm I would feel sick until I went to bed.  Bed was usually about 8pm as I was soooo exhuasted every night.  At first I felt guilty about leaving Bryan alone all evening, then realised he was quite enjoying freedom of the tv, xbox etc!  Does restrict what you can get done though when you flake out so early every night!  And having a lie in at the weekend was out of the question as I would be so hungry come 7am!

After week 16 things seemed a bit better, although bump was starting to appear and it was that akward stage of people not being sure if you were eating too many pies, or maybe pregnant.  This was a thing I had feared for years, as I am quite self concious about my body as those who know me will be aware.  One man in particular seemed to think it was hilarious to call me Fattie, I can take it from some people but he seemed to really mean it rather than just making a joke.  I spoke to him about it twice and then he stopped talking to me totally.  Not nice but at least I don’t have the upset of him doing it anymore.  Certainly didn’t make things any easier though.

Then one morning I blacked out, as I’ve already blogged.  Since then I’ve had a few “fainty” spells.  Iron levels, blood pressure and blood sugar have all been tested and none are at a level that need to be worried about.  This is apparently quite normal and I’m not as bad as others.  Still hard to live with, but luckily I have a supportive hubby who is taking fab care of me!

Meanwhile you have the swelling feet, belly button on its way inside out, bodily functions like very unlady like burping(!), lack of energy, inability to walk at any speed or upstairs without gasping for breath, overheating all the time, scary midwives telling you about stuff like how hard it will be to poo the first time after giving birth, seasick feeling whilst baby pretends you are a washing machine, oh and I developed an insane fear that someone was going to stab me in the stomach.

But hey, we’re 3 quarters of the way there and soon we get a lovely wee baby to share our lives with – and it will all be worth it.

6 Responses to “It will all be worth it.”

  1. Geeklawyer says:

    It all sounds very harrowing: I intend that I shall never get pregnant after reading this. Still it’ll all be worth it.

  2. It WILL all be worth it! Your body will return to normal state and you will be able to have a drink (or two!) and of course the baby… the best experience you will probably ever have! Hang in their, Maria. XO

  3. r4isstatic says:

    Awww…suppose it’s perfectly natural to be worried, but as Kittie says, I bet you it will be *so* worth it very, very soon afterwards!

  4. Thanks for the support guys! Roll on ickle baby Robertson so I can prove myself right!

  5. Jennie says:

    Burping? You can burp now?!?!

  6. Yes I can! Exciting isn’t it?! Can’t do it to order or do the alphabet or anything but certainly progress from before I got pregnant! Wonder if its a “talent” I’ll keep once baby comes? My Mum couldn’t eat oranges before me, but got a craving when pregnant and has eaten them ever since so it might happen…